66. Ambushes and Overhauls

Miles was feeling splendid.  His engine was running smoother than it had in ages.  As much as Miles hated the tow truck, Mater had one remarkable selection of rare parts.  Now his engine was complete again, which made driving far easier than it had been before.  He understood why Victor Hugo hired someone to tow him around; it could be very off-putting running with an engine that hardly does its job.  Still, it felt as if his engine was a little too complete.  He couldn’t put his tire on it, but it felt like something was pressing in his engine the wrong way.
Acer was getting restless, “Professor, when are we going to get there?”
Zundapp snapped back, “Why don’t you be quiet?  You asking me about the duration of the journey isn’t going to shorten it!”
Miles broke in, “Well actually, Professor, I’d like to know where we’re staying.  With J. Curby and his Gremlins?”
“The point of our entry in Detroit is to assist a friend”, Professor Z explained, “He’s managed to acquire an apartment suitable for the four of us for the time being.”
“And who is this friend?” Acer asked, “Who do we know in Detroit besides the Gremlins?”
“Everett Dorado”, Zundapp answered, “He’s having some severe mechanical issues that I must tend to.”
“Everett?” Grem was surprised, “I thought the Detroit police force locked him up.”
“They did indeed”, Professor Z admitted, “but they underestimated the Edsel’s abilities.  I won’t go into details, but the results proved disastrous.”
“So he broke out?” Acer asked blandly.
“Yes”, Professor Z responded, “and he radioed me a few days ago.  It was then that I made the decision to set our sights on Detroit, in order for me to assist him.”
“I feel like I’m being left out of the loop”, Miles entered the conversation, “Who is this Everett chap?”
“He’s a Ford Edsel”, Professor Z described the vehicle, “He’s had some, should we say, traumas, over the years.”
“Satanic traumas”, Grem inserted.
“Yes”, Professor Z agreed, “These traumas lead him to commit acts of violence and cannibalism among those who angered him and those who got in his way.”
“What?” Miles was taken aback, “Than why do we want to help this vicious killer?”
“It’s quite simple”, Professor Z claimed, “Scientific opportunities.  I could not imagine passing up such a mind boggling project, especially on such a rare specimen.”
“Well, how do we know he’s not going to turn on us?”  Miles was feeling threatened, “What if we underestimate him like the cops did?”
“He may turn on us”, Professor Z admitted, “Therefor I will need all three of you on wheel to pry his jaw open and rescue me if he becomes dangerous.”
“Is he joking?”  Miles looked to Grem and Acer.
“I never joke”, Professor Z insisted, not looking back at the three cars.
The four lemons neared a motel, just off the main road.  Professor Z turned toward it, and the others followed.  The walls of the motel were dirty and covered in graffiti, and the garage doors were all bent up, if still there at all.  The roof had clearly been damaged, and was propped up with wooden beams.  This caused the second floor to lean to the right, giving the building a very unstable look to it.
“You can’t seriously expect us to go in there”, Miles shuddered.
“I can expect you to do whatever I want”, Professor Z commanded.
“I can’t believe him sometimes”, Miles grumbled, “I thought I was his superior, not his lackey!”
“He sees everyone as his lackey”, Grem explained, “Everyone he meets is below him in his book.”
“Hmm”, Miles pondered Grem’s words, “Seems like an unrealistic viewpoint.”
“You bet”, Acer nodded.
Professor Z opened the shattered glass double doors of the building.  He and the others entered a hallway, the floor plastered with dirty matted carpet.  Miles drove on the ends of his tires, trying not to make too much contact with the repulsive flooring.  The lemons drove up a ramp to the second floor of the building, and the conditions got increasingly worse.  Zundapp turned at the end of the corridor, keeping an eye out for a specific room.  At last he turned left and knocked on a badly dented garage door.  He made sure to knock gently as to not remove the door from its hinges.  A few seconds later, the door began to slowly open, screeching loudly as it did so.
“Who’s there?” Came a grouchy voice from behind the half open door.
“It’s Professor Zundapp”, Professor Z answered, “You radioed me about some mechanical difficulties.”
“Oh, good”, Everett’s tone changed from annoyance to relief, “Things are getting bad.”
Everett forced the door open the rest of the way, revealing just how severe his condition was.  His paint was peeling and his frame leaned noticeably on his front right wheel.  The sleek black ragtop that had always covered his roof was torn, fibers coming out of it.  His eyes were a sickly yellow, and several cracks encompassed his bodywork.  The Iron fittings and modifications the lemons had last seen him with were all gone, in their place several holes where the rivets had held in the Iron.
All the cars found it hard to look at, except Professor Z, who rolled forward, “You did not explain the full extent of your damages, Everett.  You need much repair work done.  Tell me how this happened.”
Professor Z, Grem, Acer, and Miles entered the run-down apartment.  The room was filthy, littered with various pieces of garbage.  Rodents rolled around, one in particular caught Miles’s eye eating out of a half-eaten bag of chips on the floor.  Everett led the cars to what must have been his living room; a cracked TV sat on the floor and a decorative rug took up the area.  Everett settled down in a space by the wall, Professor Z parking next to him.  Grem, Acer, and Miles stood opposite them.
“So, how did your disrepair come about?”  Professor Z asked out of scientific curiosity.
“Well, it was pretty unexpected.  I kind of started while I was in jail, but it was really subtle.  My paint peeled a little, and I felt like my chassis was uneven.  When I got out, things started getting worse.  I felt my engine rev slower and I started leaning at a steeper angle.  My eyes started to yellow and my paint peeled a lot more.  My modifications just kind of… Fell off.  The rivets came loose and when I was rolling around the apartment I would lose a piece or two.  I just threw them out: got a few weird looks from the garbage truck for doing it.  My roof feels really scraggily, but I can’t see up there so you’ll be the judge of that.”
Professor Z looked disappointed, “That tells me nearly nothing.  You just started falling apart for no reason?  And why did you dispose of the pieces, we could have used those… Unless, they couldn’t bond correctly…  Do you have any tools?”
“A few”, Everett answered, “I’ve got a toolbox, I got a little worried about my damages, and since I’m a fugitive I can’t see a mechanic.  I picked up some tools, thought I could fix myself.  I was wrong, If anything I made things worse.”
“I’m sure you did”, Professor Z spat, “Fetch me that tool box and I’ll take a look.”
Everett rolled of down the hall, and a few seconds later, returned with the aforementioned toolbox.  Professor Z prepared to open Everett’s hood, but found he was too short to reach.  He ordered Acer to bring him a stool, and the Pacer did as he was told.  Zundapp climbed up and pried open the peeling hood.  He gazed inside for any abnormalities.
“Hmm”, Professor Z pondered, “You are indeed running slowly, Everett.  I’m going to need you to stall so I can reach in.”
Everett stalled his engine as asked, and then Professor Z reached into his engine.  Miles averted his eyes, and Grem and Acer rolled their eyes at the weak-stomached car.  At last Professor Z found what he wanted.  He rose from the engine and produced two large rivets.
“It makes far more sense now”, Professor Z announced, “You rattled two rivets loose from your modifications.  Normally this would make sense, and could be easily fixed.  However, yours found their way into an important hose.  This made it so only minute quantities of oil would find their way to the rest of your engine.  Therefore, your paint dried and flaked off, your ragtop lost its shine and started to disintegrate, and your steering became too dry and locked your right hydraulics in a low position.  Your sheet metal began a microscopic form of oxidation, widening the holes for your rivets and causing you to lose all of your modifications.”
“It might make sense to you”, Acer chimed in, “but the rest of us are still lost over here.”
“Fine, I’ll dumb it down for you”, Professor Z groaned, “Rivets blocking the lubrication hose, No lubrication system.  No lubrication system, car becomes too dry.  Too dry, car loses parts.”
“Well we’re not that stupid”, Acer felt insulted.
“The evidence suggests you are”, Professor Z mocked, “and I trust the evidence.”
“You know, I’m starting to feel better!”  Everett grinned, “Still a little weak, but I feel more refreshed!”
“Yes, we’ll need to give you more oil”, Professor Z said, “The small amount of oil you were getting through the lubrication system was keeping you going, but becoming less and less able to sustain you.  If I didn’t fix you soon, you would have completely run dry and died.”
“Harsh, Professor”, Grem commented, “You couldn’t think of a better way of saying that?”
“I could have lied to him and told him he would have become healthy on his own and live forever”, Zundapp proposed, “but I feel it’s best he lives in reality.”
“Actually, I’ve got regenerative powers”, Everett admitted, “I would have healed on my own, but I’ve dealt with this kind of thing before.  I would have passed the rivets out after about a year, but it would be one lousy year.  I’d hate to stay like that so long, I’ve got enough to deal with already.”
“There is no such thing as regenerative powers, Everett”, Professor Z corrected the Edsel.
“I promise you Professor, there is”, Everett countered, “They were given to me by Satan himself.”
“There is no such thing as Satan”, Professor Z assured Everett, “and There is no possibility that at the core of the earth are billions of deceased villainous vehicles and one so called ‘Devil Car’.  No car can stand the heat without melting instantly, not even the leader of the domain.”
“Maybe you outta see things for yourself before you making assumptions, Professor”, Everett argued.
Miles drove in between the two fighting cars, “Now, now, gentlecars.  There is no reason to fly off the handle about this subject.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”
“It’s not an opinion”, Professor Z insisted, “If cars can survive temperatures of 6000 degrees, why have they not attempted to explore the sun?  We could surely stop global warming if we moved it farther away?  Go on, Everett, how about you push the sun a few million miles away if logic hangs so loosely in your tiny mind?”
Everett roared and pounced on the Professor.  He had the front half the microcar in his mouth now, ready to bite down.  All three of the other lemons pried Everett’s jaw open, allowing the Professor to just barely escape.  Acer and Grem held Everett back while Miles got a hold on the Professor.
“Fine, that’s how we’re going to play?” Professor Z’s side panel opened to reveal a weapon, buzzing with electricity.
Everett jumped aside as the Professor took his shot.  The gone disintegrated the wall that had been behind Everett just a few seconds ago.  Professor Z shot violently around the room, just barely missing the speeding Everett each time.
At last the hotel manager burst in, “What is going on in here?”
Zundapp blasted the manager in the grill and sent him rolling down the hallway ramp.  This gave Everett time to attack, so Professor Z shot one more desperate shot.  He hit a load bearing support and the building shifted.  The second floor finally gave way and the entire motel bent to the right.  The walls of the first floor gave way and the whole thing collapsed, sending all five cars tumbling down the wreckage.  At last the lemons ran into a semi-intact piece of wall and were knocked unconscious.
Professor Z was the first to wake up.  The scene around him was intense: Fire trucks, Ambulances, and police forces surrounded the wreckage.  Professor Z found he and the others had been moved to the medical zone.  There were several other vehicles that must have been in the hotel, but no one seemed seriously hurt.  Most of them were watching, presumably having gotten out before the collapse.  Slowly, Grem started to come to.
“Agh”, Grem grunted at a pain in his roof, “What happened?  Did the building go down?”
“Quite obviously”, Professor Z said, “We need to get out of here.  The police will recognize us any minute and contact Chrome.”
“We can’t just leave Acer”, Grem objected.
“Do you assume I want to leave my specimen, either?”  Professor Z asked, “I would like to draw a detailed diagram of Everett’s anatomy, study his unique cannibalistic workings.  I’d be a fool to let the government publish their findings before me!”
“What about Miles?”  Grem continued, “How are you going to study anything without any funding?”
“We need to leave them”, Professor Z demanded, “I’m not going to jail because of three unconscious cars!”
“I’m afraid you are”, came a familiar British voice.
“Finn McMissile”, Professor Z growled.
Dozens of C.H.R.O.M.E. agents surrounded the five cars, guns at the ready.  Then the remaining three lemons started to wake up.
“Really?”  Professor Z snapped, “Now you wake up?  While we’re at gunpoint?  We should have left you all.”
“That’s cold, Professor”, Acer wallowed.
Miles finally opened both eyes, and then jumped at the sight of the several armed agents, “What’s going on?  Are we under arrest?  I don’t want to clean the rigs again!”
Finn came forward, looking to Everett in particular, “I’ve never seen you before; are you an associate of Zundapp’s?”
“If I was before, I’m not now”, Everett shot a dirty look at the Professor, “Why do you care?”
“I’ve just never seen an Edsel with the lemons”, Finn elaborated, “Especially not with your design.  What are those spikes on your bumper?”
“Fangs”, Everett stated bluntly, “Is this whole evening going to be an interrogation?”
“We’ll see”, Finn stared down at the Edsel’s unusual grill, “I don’t want to grill you on the subject any longer.”
Everett was enraged by the pun and pounced at the spy, and the other agents reacted, “Fire!”
The circle of agents started to shoot at Everett.  The four other lemons were in the line of fire, and braced for gunfire.  However Everett was one step ahead and soon he was speeding in a circle around the lemons at 300 mph.  The bullets deflected off of him like he was a shield for the four cars, not a single one getting through.  Then Everett widened his circle and slammed into all the agents in less than five seconds.  He broke through the barrier of dazed vehicles and the five cars sped down the street.
“Bulletproof?”  Finn sighed, “The queen isn’t going to believe this report.  Has anyone been hit?  Some of the bullets must have ricocheted, can we get some medics?”
Mike Lorengine drove up beside Finn, “Shouldn’t we go after them, sir?”
“No need”, Finn took out a tracking beacon, “Our friends in Radiator Springs gave us everything we need to track them down.”
Meanwhile, the lemons were out of sight.  Grem, Acer, and Miles stood in aww of the Edsel and his incredible act.  Everett led the pack out of town and to the freeway, not looking back at the other four lemons.
“Wow”, Acer praised Everett, “You saved our bumpers back there, Everett!”
“I don’t see how he did”, Professor Z poked holes in the event, “There is no logical way he could have gone that fast.  Tell us how you did your little magic trick, Everett.”
Everett turned abruptly, “I told you, I’m a demon car.  My top speed is 300mph.”
“Impossible”, Professor Z debated.
“You saw me do it”, Everett brought to the micro car’s attention.
“I saw you deceive us”, Zundapp insisted, “The fastest car in the world can only go up to 270 miles per hour; Edsels go up to 119.  No modification could enable you to go to 300 miles per hour.”
“I wasn’t modified”, Everett promised, “I was demonized.”
“Well perhaps you’ll allow me to make further observations”, Professor Z continued, “For scientific purposes.”
“After all your insults, you really think I’ll let you examine me?”  Everett snarled.
“I’m sure you will”, Professor Z grinned a toothy grin, “If we make it worth your while.”
Everett pondered, “What do you mean by that?”
Professor Z turned to Miles, “Miles, this is where your funding comes in.  When we get somewhere safe, you’ll pay Everett handsomely for his contributions to the scientific archive.”
“Sometimes I really hate you”, Miles narrowed his eyes.
“I don’t care about petty social connections, Miles”, Professor Z informed the Range Rover, “You should know that by now.”
“Fine”, Everett loosened up, “but it better be one huge check.”
Everett turned to keep leading them to the freeway, but Zundapp stopped him, “I lead.”
As they started back off down the road, Miles turned to Grem and Acer, “He really does think everyone is below him.”
The Gremlin and the Pacer nodded in agreement as the five lemons made their way toward the highway.